For many years I had no idea what a spiritual journey was. I believed that it meant being religious and confining myself to a church and a set of standards. Although I was raised as a christian and I do believe in God and Jesus’ teachings, this is not meant to be a conversation about religion.
I believe that everyone has their right to choose to live their lives according to their own belief systems and what they feel in their hearts. So in saying that, what I have learned over the years is there is no one right or wrong way to connect with our higher selves.
I have learned to connect with the Universe as a whole. I have encompassed and embraced my past, combining it with what I am learning today so that I may shape my future in the way my God and the Universe have intended for me.
The spiritual journey is about embarking on a path of self-discovery. It’s about being completely honest with yourself. Being real and authentic. Realizing not just the good within you, but also about recognizing the fucked up things you say to yourself that you would never even say to your best friend.
It’s about lifting your own dark cloud of judgment and tearing down the walls that you’ve been protecting yourself with.
It’s about getting in touch with the raw emotions and feeling the pain so that you can stop hiding from yourself and finally start the healing process.
Because at some point you learned that you needed to protect yourself from the words and actions of others, and this was the best way you knew how.
You see, I have suffered just as many of you have. None of our stories are the same, but I’m sure many of my struggles will resonate with you.
I have been abandoned. I have been emotionally abused. I have been rocked to the core by tragedy and loss. I have been gripped with addiction. I have been locked away. I have tried to end my own life. I have suffered severely by my own destructive behavior.
I learned early on that I needed to protect myself. That I could only depend on myself. That I was alone.
That no one understood me and no one could hear my cries of quiet desperation to be heard and understood.
To be loved exactly as I am and who I am.
For many years I lived in a daze, with no direction and no clear path. I floated through life on the wind and went wherever the current took me. I lived in darkness. Always searching for the light, finding it and immediately retreating back to the darkness that was so familiar and comfortable to me.
I found myself in and out of destructive relationships. Holding onto hope that this person would love me. All of me. Enough to carry me out of the darkness.
But what I didn’t know was that only I held that power. And it took me many many years to discover that!
In one brief moment, my soul finally connected with another. And it was this connection that would finally put into motion the healing process.
Hope was born and I was forced to begin my life’s transformation. But not because I was told I needed to as I’d heard so many times before. No. This transformation came from deep within. A light flickered in my heart and it has been growing ever since.
So I got to work. First, I got myself sober. I cleared my mind and began to work on the outward mess that I had created. In the last 5 years I have done more with my life than I had in any of the years prior.
It hasn’t been pretty and it hasn’t been fun. It’s hurt like hell and I quit many times. It’s brought up the pain and emotions I buried so far down in my soul so long ago. I thought I’d never unlock that box!
But it’s the tough shit you need to work through that’s necessary for growth and for you to truly move forward.
This journey is about forgiving yourself first. Giving YOURSELF a second chance. And then once you’re ready… forgiving those who hurt you, ALL of them.
By doing this, you release the bonds that have held you back from stepping into your greatness. You are finally able to write the next chapter of your life and discover the person you were always meant to be.
This shit’s not easy and it’s taken my whole life to get to where I’m at today. It starts with a decision. Then baby steps. Any step forward you take is better than not taking one at all.
Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself room to make mistakes and stumble. Give yourself time to grow.
This gift of life is so precious and can be ripped away in an instant. So do what is in your power to make today incredibly amazing.
Because you deserve it love! You deserve all that this life has to offer.
You are loved.