To Receive We Must Learn To Release
There is so much I want to learn about.
Things I have always been so interested in, but never felt safe to explore.
Ahhh.. safe. I have never felt safe to explore the desires of my heart. My calling.
I have always been so afraid of what others would think. How I would make them feel. That I would be cast out and rejected because it didn’t fit in with what they believed in.
That it’s all just hocus pocus nonsense. That it went against religion and my church.
And there it is again, the rules.
The rules that society imposes on us as children. The rules that are put in place to keep us down. To be as sheep. To be a cog in the wheel. To just follow along because any thought or idea or desire that went again “them” was wrong or bad or evil.
But as my eyes are opening. As I move more and more into my awakening. As I explore my own mind, my own thoughts, my own beliefs and what I believe to be true. I realize that…
It’s all been bullshit.
Again, lies fed to us to keep us in line. To stay the status quo. To be born. Get the education. Get the partner. Have the children retire poor. And die.
Well, that’s not the way I choose to live. Hell, that’s not even the path I choose to take. It was never the path I walked.
A felon at 15
Barely graduated high school
Never finished college
Had an abortion at 26
Drug and alcohol addictions throughout my teens and 20’s
3 DUI’s between age 28-29
Then the marriage, the kids, and sobriety
And now choosing education…
However… NOT formal education. Let’s be clear on that.
But really, the reality is that just because society may not have agreed with the route I chose to take, doesn’t mean that I am less of a person.
It doesn’t mean that what I think, feel, do doesn’t matter.
It all matters.
And I am not just the statistics on a piece of paper. I am not even those events I just listed. I am not bound and imprisoned by my history. I stand strong and proud today as a result of the unconventional path I chose to take.
I took life and created my own road to my destiny.
My destiny was already mapped out for me. My soul has a purpose and is on a specific mission. And my free will took me to places others would never have chosen.
Or maybe you did.
Maybe we have walked a similar path.
I know that every seemingly wrong decision was actually my every right decision. I know it may be hard to comprehend. And that’s okay. If you don’t understand…maybe this story isn’t meant for you right now – or ever.
But if you do. If you can relate even just a little bit, then you were led here. Something in my ramblings resonated with you.
Something in my words touched a part of your soul that maybe you don’t understand yet.
Or maybe you do. And with every word you read, you’re saying FUCK YES! She gets me!
Well, then it’s you, love. You are who I’m writing to. You are who I am writing this for. So that you know you are not alone in this.
So that you know your life has meaning and purpose and that you have a voice too.
And I ask you to use it.
I ask you to look within and start to bring up every dark story and memory – yeah, I know you don’t want to. I just started to turn you away right there. It’s okay, just hang with me for a moment.
I want you to bring them up so you can observe them. Not to relive them, but take a look. Let’s work through them. Re-write those stories. Forgive yourself for allowing them to hold you back.
For allowing them to keep you prisoner in your mind and in your addictions. So that you can release them. Move through them. Heal them. And then release them. Because I know you want more.
You know you want more.
You want to experience happiness. Blissful, joyful, peaceful, happiness.
The kind that’s not just on the surface, but bubbles up from a place of pure love.
You desire the freedom of love and passion in all areas. And you’re tired. You’re tired of running. You’re tired of being scared. And you’re ready for it to just be easy for once.
My love, I’m telling you… it CAN be easy. If only you’ll allow it.
If only you’ll receive it. If only you are willing to release it. All of it.
We release so that new, beautiful experiences have a place to go.
We release so that these experiences can live in our hearts and souls.
We release so that we can receive.
I love you.
From my soul to yours,